The Most Effective Way To Confess Your Sex Addiction To Your Partner

The Most Effective Way To Confess Your Sex Addiction To Your Partner

Confessing your sex addiction to your partner can be daunting and scary, particularly if physical infidelity is involved. You know that divulging the details of your sex addiction will most likely expose many lies and betrayals and your partner will be extremely hurt and angry.

Firstly, think carefully about the language you are going to use.

You want to have an open and honest discussion but you also want to make sure that you are being tactful with your approach. Dumping all the details of your betrayals on your partner without warning and partner consent will cause extreme shock, trauma and severe anger. After all you are telling your partner about your unfaithful existence. Your partner may be either unaware of your addiction, or knows only the tip of the iceberg of your behaviour.

Prepare your disclosure carefully.

You need to carefully prepare your disclosure with your therapist. You must be completely honest and specific about all of your sexual betrayals. You may find this very challenging and extremely shameful but you still need to disclose all aspects of your actions. Avoid drip-feeding, that is giving away only partial truth. If your partner finds out later what you left out, their fragile trust in you is unlikely to recover from there.

Select a good time and venue.

You need to ask your partner if they are in the right frame to receive your confession. Most partners are very nervous and anticipating the worst, but they tend to insist on learning the entire truth. Your partner will have enormous difficulty with reconciling your sexual acting out behaviours but their painful devastation lies in your betrayal of their trust.

You may want to disclose in your own home or in your therapist’s office. It is up to your partner.

Check your motivation.

Examine why you have decided to confess your sex addiction to your partner. Is it because you wish to rid yourself of the guilt you carry around or is it because you are genuine about enacting change in your life? It’s important that you are genuine in your honesty and about wanting to change for the better, if not your partner will see this, which will only cause more strain on the relationship.

Commit to being transparent and answering your partners questions.  

Once you have resolved to tell your partner about your sex addiction, your partner will undoubtedly have many questions. They may involve lies you have told or ways in which you have broken their trust and it is only fair that you show your commitment to change by being completely honest. Once everything is out on the table, then you can work on ways to move forward.

We understand that this is a difficult conversation. Relationship Counselling can help you through this process and can also assist you in repairing a fractured relationship.

Feel free to contact us for more information.