25 Jan Why Spouses of Sex Addicts Must Set Boundaries in a Relationship
The thing about sex addiction is that unfortunately, it affects both single and married people in the same way. Just because someone is in a committed relationship, doesn’t make them immune to the impulses and urges that go hand in hand with this disorder.
Sex addiction is difficult enough for a single person to cope with, let alone someone in a committed relationship. Common elements that tend to be across the board for sex addicts are secrecy, deception, lies and when concerning those in committed relationships, there is usually multiple cases of infidelity.
As a spouse, this can be extremely traumatic. Being kept in the dark for a long time about their partners behavior, then discovering the person they love has stepped outside of the marriage to feed their addiction can be extremely hurtful; even traumatic.
When an addict comes clean about their behavior, they usually go one of two ways. Either they blurt out every lie they’ve ever told and disclose every painful detail about their infidelity, or they completely close off, shut down emotionally and refuse to divulge their dishonest behavior.
It’s important for the spouse or partner of an addict to ensure they set clear boundaries in their relationship, during and after treatment. Sure, the sex addict is suffering from a compulsory disorder of the brain and they may feel that their impulses are out of their control, but they still must be held accountable for their actions. The spouse or partner of the addict has every right to set boundaries and ask that their partner keep them.
The most effective way for relationships to heal from infidelity caused by sex addiction is to seek help from a qualified sex therapist who can help create boundaries together that work for both partners. Contact us today and find out how we can help.