Counselling via MS Teams, Zoom and FaceTime available
If you are planning to tell your partner about compulsive pornography use, the single most useful piece of preparation is this: decide what you are going to say before the conversation, and say all of it. Disclosure that emerges in stages, with each round of...
One of the more distressing things people notice is that the material they are now seeking is different from what they sought at the beginning, sometimes markedly so. The common private conclusion is that this reveals something disturbing about who they really are. That conclusion...
If you have encountered the idea that pornography causes erectile dysfunction, it is worth knowing that this is an area of genuine scientific disagreement rather than settled fact. Some studies report an association between heavy pornography use and difficulties with erection or arousal with a...
If you have resolved to stop watching pornography many times and have not managed to sustain it, the most useful thing to understand is that this is the expected outcome of the method, not evidence of a defective character. Willpower is a poor tool for...
The question most people ask themselves is how much is too much, and it is the wrong question. There is no threshold of frequency that marks the point where pornography use becomes a problem. What matters instead is control and consequence: whether you can stop...
If your partner has started counselling for compulsive sexual behaviour, one of the most common assumptions is that your role is now to wait, support them, and see how it goes. That assumption is worth reconsidering. Your own recovery from what happened is a separate...
No. And the pressure you are feeling to decide immediately, whether it is coming from your partner, from family, from friends, or from your own need for the uncertainty to end, is worth resisting. A decision of this significance made in the first weeks after...
There is no checklist that will give you certainty about someone else's inner experience, and it is worth saying that plainly at the outset. What can be assessed is impact. The question that distinguishes pornography use from compulsive use is not how often it happens...
If, months after discovering a partner's secret sexual behaviour, you are still experiencing intrusive images, disrupted sleep, hypervigilance and sudden waves of distress triggered by ordinary things, you are not failing to move on. These are recognised responses to betrayal by an attachment figure, described...