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An online sex addiction test can tell you whether your experience resembles a recognised pattern. It cannot tell you whether you have a disorder. That distinction is the whole of what follows, and holding onto it will save you a great deal of unnecessary alarm...
Guilt is about something you did. Shame is about who you believe you are. The distinction sounds academic until you notice that one of them tends to support change and the other reliably undermines it. This is among the more practically useful things to understand about...
High Sex Drive or Loss of Control? Where the Line Sits Wanting sex often is not a disorder. The line between a high sex drive and compulsive sexual behaviour is not drawn at any level of desire or frequency. It is drawn at control and consequence:...
Misconceptions about compulsive sexual behaviour do real damage. They keep people from seeking help, they leave partners drawing conclusions that make things harder, and they shape conversations between couples long before anyone speaks to a practitioner. Five come up repeatedly, and each is worth addressing directly. Speak...
Sex addiction is the term almost everyone uses. Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder is the term that appears in the international diagnostic classification. They are usually describing the same lived experience, but only one of them is a clinical category, and the difference is worth understanding...
If you are planning to tell your partner about compulsive pornography use, the single most useful piece of preparation is this: decide what you are going to say before the conversation, and say all of it. Disclosure that emerges in stages, with each round of...
One of the more distressing things people notice is that the material they are now seeking is different from what they sought at the beginning, sometimes markedly so. The common private conclusion is that this reveals something disturbing about who they really are. That conclusion...
If you have encountered the idea that pornography causes erectile dysfunction, it is worth knowing that this is an area of genuine scientific disagreement rather than settled fact. Some studies report an association between heavy pornography use and difficulties with erection or arousal with a...
If you have resolved to stop watching pornography many times and have not managed to sustain it, the most useful thing to understand is that this is the expected outcome of the method, not evidence of a defective character. Willpower is a poor tool for...