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Most people who develop a compulsive relationship with pornography assume the problem is about sex. It looks like it is about sex. It happens in the context of sexuality. But for the majority of people seeking help for compulsive pornography use, the driving force behind...
One of the most common questions couples face in the aftermath of a sexual addiction disclosure is whether to begin couples therapy. The question makes sense. The relationship has been shaken. Both people are in pain. It seems logical that working on the relationship together,...
A conversation that happens with striking regularity in sessions with people seeking help for sex or pornography addiction goes something like this: they have been trying to stop for years. They have made resolutions. They have deleted apps, installed filters, made promises to partners or...
When a partner discovers that the person they love and have built their life with has been living a secret sexual life, the emotional impact is profound and disorienting. The discoveries often do not arrive in one clear moment but accumulate in waves: first a...
Of all the emotional barriers that people in recovery from sex addiction encounter, shame is the most persistent and the most damaging. It is also the one most likely to be mistaken for a driver of change, when in reality it is one of the...
Recovery from sex addiction or pornography addiction is rarely a single, dramatic decision. It is a sustained process built on new patterns of thought, behaviour, and environment. And increasingly, that environment includes a digital world designed by some of the most sophisticated engineers on the...
Your phone is very likely the primary access point for compulsive sexual behaviour. For most people dealing with pornography or online sexual addiction, the phone is where the acting out happens — where the triggers live, where the content is accessed, where the hours disappear. Environmental...
A slip happens. You acted out — once, briefly — and now you're in the hours immediately afterwards, sitting with what happened. What happens next matters enormously. In the language of addiction recovery, a 'slip' refers to a single episode of the unwanted behaviour. A 'binge'...
Cravings don't last forever. They feel like they will — particularly the intense, physical cravings that accompany compulsive sexual behaviour. They feel like pressure that will keep building until it's released. But that's not actually how cravings work neurologically. Cravings are waves. They rise, peak, and...